Calling on the Goddesses

My wife and I have this “game” we play.  Whenever one of us is ready to share a deep, dark secret we say “Confession!” and then spill our proverbial guts to the other. Well, here it is.

Confession!

I am not the most patient of people, especially when it comes to my own life. I have all of the patience in the world for my clients as they strive to make their changes. However, for me… not so much. Much like many of my clients, I, too, struggle with the “not good enough” gremlins. On any given day, I battle those gremlins upwards of ten times. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. Some days I am on top of the world and some days it’s all I can do to hold my sh!t together. 

Yesterday was one of those days that was particularly troubling. August 24^th is my mother’s birthday. She passed 37 years ago from complications of Lupus. I was 5 and never really had the chance to get to know her. My emotions were everywhere but all filled with sadness and disappointment. Sadness that I can’t call her up and share the struggles and highlights of my world and disappointment that I don’t even know what she sounded like. I have 3 memories of her. That’s it. Just 3. I have clung to them like gorilla glue on carpet! (If you have ever tried to get that stuff out of carpet, you know what I mean!) 

While I didn’t know her, she is large part of the driving force as to why I went down the path of nutrition and coaching to help others. She is the reason that I spent hours studying and mastering material. I wanted to be able to help prevent another child from having to feel the anguish that I have felt and to help prevent a mother from leaving her child (ren) too soon. I always thought even if I can help just one woman it will all be worth it. What I didn’t realize was in saying that I was limiting myself. I was telling the Universe that that was enough for me. Truth of the matter is that it’s not enough. One is not enough. I want to help as many as I can over my lifetime.

 Yet I struggle with trusting that all will be well and that Universe truly has my back. I keep one foot firmly planted in what I refer to as reality and one foot trying to fly toward the sky. Imagine that stretch!

With the closures and mandatory lockdowns, I have seen so many people lose their livelihoods and the energy that is all around us is fear. When we are consumed by fear, we can’t live for moments of joy. See, fear and joy both reside in the amygdala portion of the brain. Where one is, the other can’t be. If fear is the dominating energy then joy can’t be expressed. If joy is the dominating energy then fear has no place.

Even though I know this down to my core, it is often still hard to let go of the fear and fully delight in the things that bring me joy. This includes my private practice. When I am working with a client and I see the “aha!” moment flash across her face, I am bathed in a deep sense of joy. This joy isn’t for me necessarily. This joy is about the client in front of me and the revelations and progress that she is making. The confidence that is building within her fuels my passion for what I do and encourages me. This is why I am selective as to the people with whom I work. We enter into a symbiotic relationship where both of us receive and both of us give.

Lately, though, I have considered following a different direction. I allowed fear to take over and the joy to fall to the wayside. What I noticed about myself was that happiness was waning and frustration was growing. I wanted my practice to grow right now and my impatience ruled king. Maybe you have been in a situation similar to this. You want something so badly that you can almost taste it and yet, no matter what you do, it seems just out of reach.

We manifest that which our energy requests. My energy has been limiting, depleting, and distrusting of the Universe. Instead of asking for what I really want and focusing my intention there, I was focusing on running from the things that I didn’t want and creating a negative energy space. When we are connected to our Energy (Source, God, Goddess, Buddha, enter your preference here), we are able to move mountains. We are able to make the impossible seem like it was child’s play.

Today, the wife and I sat down and called upon the Goddesses for guidance. I have done these readings many times for my clients but neglected to do so for myself. I asked the following questions, “Who is with me on my journey, and what is it that you wish for me to know at this moment?”

Here is who came forward:

Sedna – Infinite Supply – “You are supplied for today and all of your tomorrows.” This Goddess speaks of abundance and a Universe that is filled with more than enough for everyone. She instructs us to not worry about the future and to know that we will always have enough and be provided for.

Coventina – Purification – “It is time for a cleansing detoxification of your body and mind.” Coventina instructs us to not only cleanse the body and the mind, but to keep sharp focus on the contents of the mind and speech. What we think and say about ourselves so we become.

Mary Magdalene – Unconditional Love – “Love yourself, others, and every situation – no matter what the outward appearances may be.” Mary Magdalene has been labeled as many negative things, but she does not allow those labels to affect the way that she sees and loves herself. She commands that we not give into and lower ourselves to the thoughts that others have of us. We are better than that. 

Hopefully, you are seeing the connection that is being made here. Trust in yourself and the Universe will provide. Honor and guard your thoughts against negativity, hatred, and the unwelcomed opinions of others who may seek to drag us down. It is only then that the desires of the heart can manifest completely. Seek guidance from a positive perspective – one that resonates with joy and not fear- and be open to the presentation of the answer.

 This, too, is my hope for you all. That you will find that joy that comes from within and be able to hold onto it.